Primarily, I tell you about all the stuff that makes life beautiful. Surface level stuff like make up, clothes, candles and fun things that I do and experience. Today I want to go deeper. Yawl know that I have metastatic breast cancer. The past 10 months have been extreme. I have 3 weeks of chemo a month with a pretty intoxicating witches brew of science to try and shrink the tumors. Those tumors are in my right arm bone, both lungs, both hips and in right chest wall. I've lost my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows and all traces of femininity. It is much harder to put on my face or do my hair. In the midst of all of the treatment, being sick, and physical pain, I have made myself get dressed up and do my makeup and hair almost every day. Trying to feel noral is my new normal.
By making myself stick to the routine of being normal, I have managed to move from Texas to Colorado. I have gone to England for the week of the royal shin dig. Traveled with m daughter to Dothan Alabama. Recently traveled with my husband to New Mexico for a family celebration. I have forced myself to do more outside of my comfort zone in the past 10 months than I have done in the past 5 years. Because of these excursions, I have seen a more beautiful life than ever. Sunsets, snow drifts, cactus, an amazing owl that lives on our land, lots of deer. Even more beautiful are the people that I have spent time with. My closest family members, old friends, and new friends, church too.
Oh don't get me wrong, I am still a girl to the core and love shopping, clothes, make up and all those superficial things. This week I got news that made the beautiful life positively glitter. I am in remission! No I am not cured. It will most likely come back, but God only knows when. I get to stay on chemo to keep myself in remission, with a short drug break from one of my chemo drugs for a couple of months this Spring/Summer. It may be tacky to see so much beauty in life when you know that you are dying. But the beauty I see is less fake sparkle and more true beauty. Less things and more moments. I had to share this great news with my beautiful life people. Thank you for sharing in this news.